Poetically Pathetic

New blog

2010-10-26T13:27:00.002-06:00

So I decided this blog should die and I should birth a new one...
So here you go.

It is called, First things first, but not necessarily in that order. or.. to go to the URL, it is kneedeepshenanagans.blogspot.com

I loved you blog. It wasn't you, it was me.

Move your boogy body

2010-08-22T23:24:00.003-06:00

So I can't post this video on my blog since I don't know how to, so I am just going to have to give you the link.
I promise you will not be let down!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGOO8ZhWFR4

Just remember everyone, move your boogie bodies! I am completely inspired now.

What?

2010-08-20T09:05:00.002-06:00

This summer has not even been summer it has come and gone so fast! What is this madness? I am a little bit sad school starts in 5 days! I am going back to Snow college for one last semester! Then...my associates! FINALLY! Sheesh, took me long enough.

Oakcrest was such a great experience I can't even describe all the miracles and great experiences I had. Just know that I loved it and it was awesome!

As for my diet, I kind of stopped trying. I still lost weight even though my eating went down the toilet because we were walking everywhere all the time all day long. I weigh 179 now! 12 pounds down since I have started! Not bad, but could be a lot better! I am taking an aerobics class and a folk dance class at school! I am pretty excited to get moving again! For my birthday this year, I asked for a gowear fit, which tracks exactly how many calories you are burning every day. I am excited to use it to see how many calories I am actually burning and then I can more effectively track exactly how many pounds I am losing each week, instead of having it be a guessing game.

I am excited to get back on this thing and lose even more! I know I can and will do this. My goal is to be 135 pounds by next July because that is when my friends start coming home from their missions. I know that is a dumb reason, but it is keeping me motivated, because I want them to really think I am a hottie! Plus, I have been hiding behind all of this fat. I know that I will have much more self confidence once I lose it. It is easy to say all this, but hard to actually live it. But I will. I can guarantee that.

Strength beyond my own

2010-06-19T12:33:00.002-06:00

Dear Bloggers,

I am sorry about not updating recently. I said I would do it weekly, and it has been almost a month since I have. I have been lacking on the whole diet thing too. But I need to get back on the ball. I weighed myself this morning at 181.4. At least I lost 3 pounds, but I need to be better. I have eaten so much sugar and dessert. It is hard not to eat it because at Oakcrest, we don't get much to eat, so anything they have, I just chow down on that. But I just need to learn to say no. The less the calories, the better. We are also going, going, going, and going all the time. I spend most of my day walking I think, so I am also burning calories that way too. I am lucky to have a job that keeps me on my feet and feeds me at the same time. It really is an answer to my prayers.

Oakcrest has helped me grow spiritually. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but it will help prepare me to become a mother in the future. My girls call me mommy, which is weird since I am not too much older than them. I have experienced the burden and pressure of trying to help these girls come unto christ being lifted from my shoulders. I know I could not do this without Gods help. I have had to rely on the Lord in everything I do. This job is helping me to change my priorities. I need to rely on the Lord in everything I do, because he sure does make life a lot easier than it normally would be. I know he will help me lose this weight if I keep praying to him and relying on him to take away the temptation to eat. If he will put words into my mouth to help these girls, he will also help me to not put food in my mouth when I am feeling sad or stressed.

Weigh-in

2010-05-23T19:26:00.002-06:00

Hi everyone! Me again! It's a beautiful Sunday evening and it has been two weeks since I have started this so-called diet. I decided not to call it a diet, because I always tend to fail at diets and I am NOT planning on failing at this. I don't know what to call it though. hmm..

Anyways, one more week until the family weigh-in for the pot o' gold! I really need to win it! I will win it!
So I guess I don't have alot to say right now, so I will make this short and sweet and give you my results! ready?... drum roll..
Starting Weight: 191
Current Weight: 184.4

Wooohoooo! I lost 7 pounds! But really I think the reason I weighed 191 at the beginning was because I was about to start my period. So technically that was just bloating. But I am still so happy I lost that! I need to keep up eating good. And even though I am cleaning five to seven hours everyday, I need to do more cardio. There is always room for improvement. I am also planning on throwing out all my fat, winter clothes so I can never go back to what I was. My goal is to lose 30 pounds by the end of August. Is that unrealistic? Of course not! I can and WILL do it!

Ageless Beauty

2010-05-19T21:50:00.002-06:00

Hey everyone! I am back to report how I have been doing, and quite frankly... I haven't been doing so hot on the whole no sugar thing. I was doing soo good for like 5 days and then I couldn't bear it and had to have an entire box of grasshopper cookies. Bad decision making on my part. I need to learn how to portion the food I put into my mouth and balance everything and actually follow the food pyramid. Who even knew that was actually useful. I just remember in elementary school, they made us memorize it and I was always so mad that the sweets, fats, and sugars were the teeny tiny tip of it! The reason I weigh what I weigh is because I made those terrible things the biggest part of my pyramid. The base. The foundation and comfort. I eat for comfort and love. I have figured whenever I feel lonely, sad, or upset, I eat, eat, eat. I guess feeling filled up in the belly makes me feel better like my heart or something is filled too. If this even makes sense. Am I the only one who feels this way?

So anyways, I have not weighed myself yet because I honestly don't want to see those numbers on the scale. I can't even believe I almost weigh 200 pounds. It really makes me sick to think about and I get all cry baby eyes and it's just one big spiral down from there. I really need to prove to myself and to all of you that I am not just saying I need to lose weight and not do anything about it. I need to actually prove it. I am one to always say one thing and do another. But not this time. I really am going to succeed and become healthy and feel good about myself for once. I am a good person on the inside I know and I have so much energy going on in my brain, but I feel like I cannot portray that when I feel uncomfortable in my body. I would gain so much confidence if I just lose the weight and not feel like a complete cow. I do NOT belong on a farm grazing the grass and mooing at all the cars. I am a human.

Okay, I am super weird. But anyways, I bought Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and I haven't done it but my plan is to do it! Next time I post, I will have weighed myself and have lost at least one pound. Thats all I want. Is that too much to ask?

2010-05-13T21:25:00.002-06:00

Greetings my fellow bloggers!

I bring many words of which you will all read and love. well, maybe not love, and you might not even read them, but I will write anyways!

The reason I am actually writing on this blog is inspired by my great, awesome, amazing sister, Celeste. She has started a weight loss blog: www.289andcountingdown.blogspot.com
She is on a journey that is probably one of the biggest challenges of her life. Well anyways, I am totally inspired by her and want to do the same thing. I know I am a total copycat! But doesn't every little sister want to be like her bigger siblings? Of course!

I am going to do something similar with my blog that she did with hers. I am making myself accountable to whoever is out there reading this pathetic thing. It is tough putting yourself out there on the web with all your very personal and VERY sensitive information. Did I mention sensitive? Every time I think of my body, I really just want to get a body transplant. It would just be much easier and I wouldn't have to be a cry baby about my body all the time.
The reason I want to do what Celeste is doing is because every woman out there has a problem with something about her, usually having to do with something on her body. It doesn't matter if you are 300 pounds or 100 pounds, every woman is never good enough for herself. Why is that? But the weird thing to me is that women are still so judgemental of one another. You think they would understand each other since we all pretty much feel the same. Not good enough.
Hmm, this is one weird tangent, so sorry about that.

So our family is doing a weight loss challenge where we all put in 10 dollars into a big pot and who ever loses the most body fat by May 29, gets all the money! $140! I am soo going to win! I started this week and my goal was to be off sugar (other than fruit) and to eat less carbs. I was doing soo good and then tonight I blew it. I had a piece of bread with butter and oh my gosh, I had some delicious marshmallow popcorn. That was the first time I had sugar for almost 4 days straight. It is pretty sad when this is the longest I have ever gone without sugar. It was just sitting on the counter already made, calling my name. I had a handful. and then another one. and then another one. Well, you get the point. I went way overboard.

I guess it is time for me to tell you ALL. The thing I have been dreading most about this post is finally here. My results!

Height: 5' 4"

Weight: 191

Goal Weight: 130-135

Body Fat %: 37.6

BMI: 32

Waist Circ.: 43.5

Current size: 14-16

Goal Size: 7-9

So that was pretty difficult to tell you all. But I WILL lose it! I am not eating any sugar until its all off! That will motivate me to lose it faster so I can eat it. I will try and post some pictures on here and I will regularly update on my progress. How does that sound? Great!

I know what sounds great, feeling good about about myself!

Hola

2010-03-19T13:00:00.002-06:00

Yes, I do realize that no one reads my blog, so now is the perfect time to actually write it because then I can just say whatever I want and no one will even know I said it!

I wanted to do another video blog, but my last one was just plain embarrassing and I can't even believe I actually did something so weird. If you haven't noticed, I am pretty weird. But whatever, mister blog dog (my name I gave my page, and yes, he is a man. I seem to talk better to guys then to girls anyways), I know you care about me. (and yes, I do talk to my blog like he is a real person with real feelings, because maybe he is). Anyways, I decided to name him because I am currently reading Anne Frank's journal and she named her diary kitty. Well I wanted to copycat and so I decided to name mine mister blog dog.

Anyways, Let me move on to something more interesting about my life.. which is.... uhh. nothing. I am on Spring break this week and it has been interesting. I don't even feel like myself. I have started this cooking craze. My family thinks I am crazy, but when my mom doesn't make and food and I am starving, I take drastic measures. I have cooked like a crazy person. Let me name what I have cooked if I can even remember. First, I cooked baked spaghetti for myself on my parents anniversary since they left me to rot in my starvation, but then they decided to not go out to eat and decided to come home and eat with me. wow. What an exciting and romantic way to celebrate a 30 year anniversary; With their favorite child who so graciously cooked them dinner. It was delicious I might add. OH yes, I forgot I also made a delicious raspberry cream cheese cake that said Happy St. Patricks Day. I was very much in the festive holiday mood of Saint Patricks Day. I made shamrock shaped pretzels, clover shaped cupcakes with green frosting (but not so succesful at looking like a clover), green pancakes, and key lime pie with a kiwi shaped as a shamrock on top, ALL on St. Patricks day. And then yesterday I made baked ravioli which was also delicious.

I am sure you all just loved hearing what I have been doing the past couple days. I told you it was going to be nothing right from the beginning, so its your fault if you decided to keep reading.

I guess I will make a challenge to write on my blog twice a month just like Mallory. That is a good challenge which I think I can handle.

I will also put on the song and artist of the day, so you all can have as great of taste in music as me. I will also put an interesting fact about them, so you all have a little music 101.

Today's song: Wake Up by Arcade Fire

Arcade fire is a very awesome band with an awesome story, which is why I am posting them first. They first recorded the album Funeral in 2004, which is what this song is on, and what some of you might recognize from the trailer for Where the Wild things are. But their next album in 2007 called Neon Bible had an awesome story to it. Coming off a year of intense touring, they wanted to just sit down and write some songs, and then record them. So, they found a church out in a small town and turned it into a studio. They moved in all their amps and instruments, bought some nice curtains, stocked the fridge, and hunkered down. They were in no rush.

They knew they were working on an album, but didn't know how long it would be, or what it would be called, or what songs would be on it, or what instruments would be on the songs. They knew they would produce it themselves because they had too many musical plans pent up in their brains to hand control over to someone else. Slowly the songs came together. They found a huge pipe organ (Such as in the song Intervention), and used many different instruments and made beautiful, beautiful music. I just think it is awesome they cooped themselves up in a hole and didn't stop until they made brilliant music!

WOW! I am alive

2010-02-12T14:29:00.002-07:00

I decided its better and faster to just upload videos of me talking to you.

R.I.P Tafty

2009-03-25T22:39:00.003-06:00

This week has been full of ups and downs. It is the story of my life.
I just do not even know where to start.
I guess I will start off with the downer. I found out that one of the boys I worked with at scout camp died named Taft. He was a really awesome funny guy and I am mad that I didn't get to know him better. He will be missed. I just keep thinking about how life is so short and really the only thing that matters is the relationships you have and the people you love and the people that love you. Life really is so short compared to eternity. It is all we have. We only get one life so we need to not take it for granted and not take anyone elses for granted either.

Wanna know some good news though?
I went on the best date of my life yesterday. I was actually pretty upset at the beginning of the day yesterday and so Kevin, being the sweetheart he is, decided to surprise me and ask me on a date. He was very very sweet about everything and had everything planned out. He told me to get dressed up all pretty like and then we would go do something fun. He asked my roommate Brooke if we could use her car which she so kindly let us and took me to Provo. It was very surprising how sweet he was the whole time. I have never seen him treat me so good in my entire life. He opened my door, held my hand, and was just so, so nice. We got to Provo around five and he took me to Costa Vida. After that, he was driving around for our next outing but couldn't find it but he wouldn't tell me what it was so I couldn't help find it. He wanted it to be a surprise, which it was. He took me to Color me mine which is a place where you pick your own ceramic sculpture, plate or mug and paint it and then they fire it up for you. It was so fun, but way expensive so I felt bad. After that, we went to the BYU creamery and got some Ice Cream. I must say, and no offense to anyone that goes to or is a fan of BYU, but I could NEVER in my entire life go to that school. I cannot take it and I feel bad for anyone who has to.
Anyways, I know that sounds probably way dumb, but the fact that he did all of that for me just because I had a bad day really says a lot. It was one of the nicest, sweetest things anyone has ever done for me and I really am grateful to him for that. And now I am just that much more in love with him. Gosh dang it. I hate when that happens. Oh well.

Monticelllo rocks

2009-03-11T16:39:00.003-06:00

So its been a couple days full of activities that I don't even know where to start. I guess I will start on Monday. Andee and I went to Moab and didn't really know what to do. Good thing Kevin was in Moab, and he showed us this way cool sand mountain we climbed up. It was a very very good workout and so much fun!! After that, we went to the Arches monument and hiked to Delicate arch. It was so pretty! Then we went to this way good Italian restaurant called pasta Jays and walked around some shops that all looked the same. I was going to buy this way awesome night gown that had a wiener dog on it wrapped around it and it said.. I long to be around you. haha. I loved it, but I figured I could do without. Later, we went with Kevin and his friends and played the wii.

Tuesday was fun

too. Me, Andee, Corey, Kevin, and Randon went to Bluff and went to lunch. After that, we tried finding this crack in the mountain you can maneuver yourself through to the top of the mountain, but it was caved in, so Andee, Corey and Kevin somehow found their way up to the very top of this huge cliff rock while I sat at the bottom having a panic attack and praying they wouldn't die. Good thing my prayers worked and I saved their lives, although it took them two hours trying to find their way down. Later we drove around and tried to find a cow to touch, but we never did. :(

Today was pretty chill. We woke up really late and then went to this amazing pizza place with the Michelle(the lady we are staying with) and then went SHOOTING GUNS! I shot a 9 mm pistol and a 22 shotgun and a weird number gun that was supposedly the good one. haha. I dont know what any of those numbers mean, but maybe you do. We shot bad movies like beerfest, super troopers, and 300. I bought a CTR ring that spins too. Its pretty cool.

We don't really know what our plans are for the next couple of days other than we are going to go to this hole in the rock and pet a zebra. Woohoo. I am pretty excited.

The olsen twins

2009-03-08T23:14:00.001-06:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Livin' the life

2009-03-08T09:12:00.003-06:00

Imagine, it is spring break and you and your friend want to go somewhere awesome but don't know where to go. Of course the first place that comes to your mind is Monticello, Utah right?

I know you are ALL jealous of us for getting to go there before you. But don't worry, I have a picture of the room we are staying in.. you must check out the lights

above us.

The drive here was good. Long, but good. We got off

course for about 50 miles and had to turn around, so the trip was longer than expected. We got here around nine and it was awkward.. at least for me. I don't even know the people we are staying with but they are way nice. The room we are sleeping in is one of their sons who is on a mission. There are dead deer skulls and horns EVERYWHERE and about 5 million guns.

This week is going to be fun. We are going to Moab, the canyonlands, and probably riding a train. WOO! If we ride a train, I can cross yet another thing off my bucket list!

I am having way too much fun with this

2009-03-06T11:43:00.001-07:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Spice Girlys

2009-03-06T11:29:00.001-07:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Ladies and Gents, we have a Winner!

2009-03-04T12:37:00.002-07:00

I am now officially in the Student Government Senate at Snow College for next year! I did it!
I am so excited for it. I don't think I can live up to the girl I will be replacing and I don't know if I want all the responsibility either.

I have decided I need to focus on my life and get my priorities straight.
I still feel so lost on what I am trying to accomplish with my goals in my life. I feel like there is so much time to get things done, but then I feel so rushed at the same time. I have realized that we don't have a lot of time in this life. I have learned that we pass up so many opportunities because we are scared of failure or getting hurt. People walk through life on eggshells, including myself, but I have realized that even though I may get hurt and I may fail, I will have so many more experiences that have forced me to grow and get through the pain. I will be strong. Not because I necessarily wanted to, but because I put myself out there and wore my heart on my sleeve. Some may say that is a bad idea, but I don't care. I have lived my whole life with a wall. I have been breaking that wall down a little bit at a time.

I want to apologize to everyone that I haven't let into my life. I have been going through a lot inside of me that I was not ready to let out, but now that I am growing up, I have realized that I need to let people in. God has been trying to tell me for years now that I need to stop being so stubborn. I need to let him in and do what he did.
He let every single person in his life into his heart, even the people who beat and crucified him. He forgave them and loved them, which is what I need to do too.

Anyways, sorry for the weird post, I just needed to say it.

Joke of the day

2009-03-03T08:16:00.004-07:00

I don't know why I laughed so hard at this joke, but I just thought it was so funny. I think it reminds me of my parents. They have very embarrassing dance moves that make me want to crawl in a hole and never come out.
I speak for all children with parents when I say that every child is embarrassed when their parents dance.
I hope you all enjoyed this joke just as much as I did. I think I will make this a weekly ritual.

Life is a rollercoaster

2009-02-24T21:46:00.002-07:00

So this week has been the worst week for my already roller coaster emotions, but in the end, it has been a good thing.
First off, I would like to say that I am done being friends with every boy in my life because they always make me choose between them and I am sick of it. So I am only interested in being friends with girls at the moment.
Secondly, as I told you before ,I was told by the dean of the school and the student body president that I could not run for office last friday. I went to the academic advisement office on monday to see if I could have the qualifications after this semester and they said I would. I then went to go see the lady in charge of elections and told her my situation and she told me I probably would not be able to run but she would check with the elections committee just in case. By that point, I was so discouraged I didnt even want to run anymore, but I had to do this because I have never followed through with something like this. On Tuesday, she called me and I went into her office and at first she was telling me I probably shouldnt run but she couldnt stop me, so then I almost started crying because I felt so dumb. But then she started talking to me about my grades and she was totally confused about my grades and so I cleared that up with her and then she told me I could even get a scholarship which I was not even expecting, so I am now running again and am getting a scholarship if I get good grades this semester!
I spoke to the student body yesterday and it was very scary, but I am just happy I am finishing what I wanted to start. I know it will be hard work, but it will be a new experience and hopefully teach me some responsibility.
That was my roller coaster week that has ended pretty good if you ask me. Hopefully I don't find out tomorrow I cant run anymore.

pity party

2009-02-23T00:23:00.002-07:00

Hey everyone!
I have a great idea. Lets all have a pity party for Cheryl!HAHA. Just kidding.
I already had one for myself on Friday. I don't even know why, but I had a mental breakdown on Friday.. all. day. long.
Mostly because of one thing.
I can't run for student government. Wanna know why? I don't have good enough grades. I was very very very sad about that. Mostly mad at myself. I still am very angry at myself. I just want to relive the past and think about what stupid decisions I made and fix it! I feel the most dumb because the dean of the school and the student body president made me feel like a COMPLETE IDIOT!! ugh. i am just so mad at myself. I just want a time machine.
Oh well. nothing I can do now. I just hope god puts something else in place of it because I am pretty bummed about it.

Love, Save the empty

2009-02-17T20:14:00.002-07:00

I have had a pretty interesting couple of days but I never know what to write because my blog is accessible to the world wide net and I am just not sure how many people I want reading about my love life...
But anyways, like I was saying, it has been just a pretty interesting couple of days.
So over the weekend I went home and it was pretty fun. Valentines rolled around and I didn't have any plans of course. My plan was to sulk around all day in my pajamas. :D That is what I did most of the day, but then it got pretty interesting.
So, first off, let me tell you about my neighbor boy named Jack. He is very very nice and way funny and just awesome and amazing. Anyways, we have been talking lately and he came up for the weekend to see his old mission companion sisters wedding up in Salt Lake. Well he came and visited me for about an hour and a half after and it was just so nice because he drove a half hour out of his way to come see me.
I thought that would be the extent of the interestingness of that valentines day, but NO... it just got started.
Later that night as I was putting on a dress to go crash the high school sweethearts dance, I got a call from Kevin.
We just started talking and then randomly out of nowhere he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so shocked and thought it was a sick valentines day joke, but he clarified that it wasn't.
So I was so shocked I just sat on the phone and didn't know what to say because I never ever thought he liked me and then he comes out and asked me to be his girlfriend.
I think he felt embarrassed after and just told me to think about it and then let him know. I didn't know what to do and was thinking about it all weekend and was talking to everyone about it and their input. I was dreading to come back here to Ephraim because I was scared to see him because I didn't know if I was going to say yes or no.
So yesterday(Monday) he came over and we just hung out in my room and he talked to me about his weekend for like an hour. I was very grateful he never brought up the awkward question and I avoided it. Everytime I could sense it getting there, I pushed it away very very far. And then we watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton which is in his top three favorite movies till 2 in the morning. You all should pat me on the back for avoiding THE conversation now for two days! I am thinking he changed his mind. That would probably be a wise decision because I am pretty sure I would be the worst girlfriend ever. I have never really ever had a serious boyfriend.
That is the update so far for all of you who know about my little situation and I guess for those who don't know about it.
Hopefully he just forgets he asked me and we end up being best friends still. That is really what I want.
Although, sometimes... just sometimes, I think about kissing him. It might be nice.

SBO

2009-02-10T15:25:00.002-07:00

Throughout all of middle school and high school I had always wanted to run for student body office. I never ended up doing it because I was afraid of the failure I "knew" would happen.
Well...
I don't care anymore. I am going to put myself out there and I am running for student body office. Whether I make it or not, I am going to feel good for even trying. I would get a scholarship which would be AMAZING since I am living off of nothing right now, and it would be an awesome experience and help me to grow up and help others.
I need two letters of recommendation and I asked my bishop to write one, but I don't know anyone to write the second one. Any suggestions? It can't be in my family either. ha.
Also, I need a resume which I don't know how to do, so if anyone has any nice layouts for one, that would be awesome to send it to me too.
Anyways, wish me luck. For the next week or 3 I will be pretty busy doing stuff for it and if anyone wants to give me ideas for publicity, that would be awesome!

February Shmebruary

2009-02-08T02:26:00.002-07:00

I'm not going to lie to myself, or any of you for that matter anymore.
I like someone.
Alot.
And they don't like me back.
And so thats why I hate February. Particularly the 14th of February. The ONLY thing I like about it is that my grandma Pearl was born on that day.
The Only thing.
But whatever. I'm okay with it.

Sweethearts

2009-02-07T10:48:00.002-07:00

Last night was a way fun night. It was actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Me and Kev hung out all day and made sugar cookies and then just hung out until it was time to go at around 8 for dinner. We went to my friend Katies house and there were 5 other couples with us, and we ate sloppy joes. Yum. Then we put on our dresses and went to the dance. We got actual pictures like you do in high school and then we danced for 2 and a half hours straight. I was sweating SO bad but I didn't care. We were the best dancers on the floor guaranteed.
After that, we went back to Katies apartment and played Mad Gab for a while.
All my roommates left for the weekend, so I was going to be home alone, so he came home with me and we slept on our couches. I liked that because I have never slept in my apartment alone, so I was kind of afraid.
In fact, he is still downstairs sleeping on the couch right now. ha.
Anyways, That is how Sweethearts went. I am very glad it wasn't awkward or stupid. I will try and steal kevins camera and put some of our pictures up later.

Running

2009-02-06T11:13:00.002-07:00

So last night, I went running.. Guess what time I went?
Midnight!
It was seriously the prime time! No one is out on the streets and No one can see you because it is dark. Kevin also came with me. We were going to first go around the track two miles, but the gates were all closed, so then we were just going to run around the campus square which is probably only like a mile and a half, but then we got distracted.. ran a mile to maverick, went behind these little alleyways which were terrifying, onto this dirt road, climbed a tree, ran again to this park thing, swung on the swings, and then went up a different road and ran home. I think I ran a total of about 4 miles or something. We didn't even get home till about 2 or so and I was locked out, so I climbed through my front room window.
I love running when I'm actually going somewhere and when I have a goal. I am doing the biggest loser challenge with my family for those who don't know, and we have to run a total of ten miles this week. My goal first was to do two miles every day, but If I keep up at this pace, I wlll have a lot more than ten miles at the end.
Woo hoo. I better win this challenge thats all I have to say.

Sorry!

2009-02-05T11:06:00.002-07:00

For all you faithful followers of my blog (I most likely don't have any), but I'm sorry for not writing for... literally over a month. I have been just really busy and I have nothing to say most of the time. Most of the time, it is about classes or friends. And that's not very fun.
Well, where do I start? I guess I will start with school. I am now working on my second semester here at Snow College. I have awesome classes. I love every single one of them and I actually go to class now. I have Aerobics, PE, Womens choir, Class voice, TV productions, and Public Speaking. I love love love love my TV productions class oh so much. All you ever do is make videos or news casts or interviews and edit them and make an awesome movie. I did a documentary on Alaskan Wildlife and yesterday I just finished filming My self interview. I am very pleased with what it has come to. I also like my public speaking class. It takes up a lot of my time for homework and mostly thinking about what I can speak on, but I like learning about it. Those two classes are the ones that take all my time.
Other than that, friends are good. Boys are a different story. I hate them. All.
But thats okay cuz I have awesome friends! They rock my world! I love my roommate Kenzie so much. We have adapted each others habits and everyone is noticing.
Anyways, that is pretty much my life. Boring I know. and thats why I don't write. ha

Oh yeah, I wish I could be my sister melanie.
She is just so awesome.

Oh yeah, I wish I could be my sister Celeste too.
She is just so awesome.

Anyways, good bye for now. I will write more I promise. I will tell you about the sweethearts ball I am going to tomorrow...
that should be interesting.

La Mitad Del Mundo!

2008-12-31T11:37:00.002-07:00

Fair warning:
This blog is the longest blog I have ever written... so you probably don't want to read it if you don't care about my trip. But its exciting, so I am sure you want to.

Dia 1 ( 12/22/08)
Our plane ride was a bummer but I did become a pro at Bejeweled. I played it for like 3 straight hours on the plane. I also watched the office and Baby mama which always makes everything better! We arrived at 10 at night and waited in the customs line for flippin two hours. After that, we arrived at our hotel. It was a glorified prison with white painted cement walls and my ultra uncomfortable bed. Don't forget the mini t.v. made back in the 1970's with all spanish soap operas. Ope, and you cant forget the dangling light bulb from the ceiling. We also had a fully painted PINK cement bathroom. Very cute.
Dia 2 ( 12/23/08)
Woke up really groggy and tired from three hours of sleep and had one piece of toast. It was really gross and I vowed I wouldn't eat anything unless it was one of those delicious baby bananas. I changed my mind after I ate lunch at the ultra americanized mall. I dont even know what I ate, but it was good and it didn't give me the runs, which was my goal.
It was really awesome to see Ivette. I was all teary eyed when I saw her, but I managed to keep it in so no one saw. It was also nice to meet her family. Her mom is very nice and knows a little bit of english along with her brothers. Her dad knows no english at all but I still love him. He is so funny. He wouldnt let my dad pay for ANYTHING. One time my dad did, and her dad got all mad.
We went on a tram thingy up this HUGE mountain. It was so beautiful and lush and green. We saw all of quito and it is huge!! over 1.5 million people. After that, we went to this old great cathedral which stunk inside cuz they were burning something gross. Anyways, it reminded me of the hunchback.. without the gargoyles. My dad took pictures of EVERYTHING and EVERY angle. Kind of annoying, not gunna lie. He also tried to talk in spanish... you guessed it... doesn't work. at all.
The roads are soo confusing. They don't even make sense. I don't know how anyone even gets around. Its crazy too because the roads are so narrow. You wouldnt think you could fit three lanes into one alleyway but they manage to. Also pedestrians don't have the right of way, so if I walked out into the road, I would get ran over. I am also thankful for water! Clean water. I couldnt brush my teeth with tap. I had to use bottled water and its way hard and it sucks.
Dia 3 ( 12/24/08)
We woke up and drove to Ambato. It was so amazingly green and so beautiful. I betcha haven't seen cows grazing the side of the freeway or little children on the side of the freeway with their hands sticking out so they could have a christmas present. Or the traditional ladies with their cute hats and awesome ponchos holding their babies on their backs. We went to levi world when we got to Ambato. Its like a long street with a bunch of stores with a bunch of jeans. They had like abercrombie and hollister for like half the price here. Now I know where they make all the worlds jeans. We also had cuyes ( guinea pig). Well I didn't, but my dad had the guinea pig and kyle had the rabbit. I just stuck with the chicken soup. I ate so much. For dinner, we had sooo much food. It was very formal with a catered chef they hired. First, we had some sort of shrimp. Then we had some soup. After, was the main course which was a HUGE turkey, potatoes, vegetables and fruit. The dessert was some sort of crepe with mango and ice cream. So delicious. Speaking of ice cream and delicious, on the way to ambato, Ivettes dad stopped and bought us ice cream. It was the most amazing ice cream I have ever had. Good thing they don't have it in the united states or I would eat it everyday.
I am also marrying a boy... The hottest boy on the planet. David. Me and Ivette and her boyfriend Ricardo and David went to this karaoke bar thing. It was so funny. I wish everyone could experience it. Anyways, I sang Britney Spears and a bunch of other old songs. David sings so good, has perfect teeth, dimples, is tall, dark, and handsome. Every girls dream. The best part was that he spoke english. We even had the same interests. It was awesome.
Dia 4 ( 12/25/08)
Merry Christmas! When I woke up, I was so tired. I went to bed at 2:30 and work up at 7:30. I was exhausted. We had breakfast and then we were off to the coast! Six hours in a long yellow banana van is not my idea of fun. Especially when 2 hours were spend having a panic attack. I wish I could have enjoyed the mountains and greenery and it was very beautiful, but I was seriously about to scream and cry and tear my hair out and I dont really know why.Well I was actually terrified we were going to die in a car accident, whether it be rolling down the HUGE mountain, or a head on collision. The van driver was freaking me out. The driving here is so crazy. People pass even when you cant. Like we would be going around a corner, and he would pass a car. I was terrified of a collision. I really was about to have a nervous breakdown and all of this was going on for two hours. Plus, I felt terrible cuz it was winding through the mountains so my head and stomach were tumbling. We also saw a devil rock. Literally. Satans face was chiseled into the side of the mountain. Ya, that didn't really help the anxiety.
After the seven hours, we finally arrived at our hotel room. It was very hot and humid and we had no blankets and I couldnt open the window because of scary mosquitoes. After, we went to atacames and went shopping for a swim suit for me. It is the coolest place ever. On one side of the street, there is a bunch of tine stores where you can buy jewelry or clothes. They stay open till like midnight. The other side of the street is tiki hut after tiki hut with blasting music. It is just one big party every single night. I wish I lived there.
Dia 5 ( 12/26/08)
Beach day!!! My favorite day!! :) We woke up at nine and got ready for the beach. Ivettes friend Pablo was at the beach too. He is so ridiculously hot. He spoke way good english too. It was funny cuz he and his friends just camped out on the beach in a tent and drank beer and made bracelets. He gave me one that day. Then he buried me in the sand and let me wear his sunglasses and we just talked about stuff. After that, we went back over to everyone and played soccer. Then I went into the ocean, which was way warm and jumped waves. We went home after and I took a shower and slept for a long time. While kyle was taking his shower, the power went out. It was funny. It was out for probably an hour and then we went to atacames beach for pizza.
The best part about this trip so far was the dancing. Oh boy, seriously.
So me, kyle, and ivette went to go find pablo and his friends so we could dance. We all got on this little stage and just started dancing. And then me and pablo went out onto the sand and started dancing. So romantic and cute right by the ocean. Then he took off one of his other bracelets and put it on me and told me to make a wish.
Ha. I know its cheesy, but I was totally into it. It was seriously movie worthy.
Anyways that was my day.

I decided I will post more about the rest of the days later cuz im sick of typing.

P.S.

2008-12-22T00:54:00.003-07:00

Oh...
I forgot,
If anyone else is also a blog stalker like me, I found the BEST blog to stalk.
I won't tell you what it's about. You will just have to go to it because I know you won't be able to stand the curiosity of not knowing what it is about. Mwhaha.

Its called mysuperhopelessromance.blogspot.com.
I spent ALL DAY reading it. I was addicted to it. So maybe you might not want to read it if you have any better things to do. I apparently don't.

I bid thee farewell

2008-12-22T00:37:00.002-07:00

So I leave tomorrow... well technically today... for ECUADOR!!

YES!!!!!!!!!
I am so excited. Being in a foreign country where you don't know the language is going to be such.. a.. an... well..
experience.
Who knows whether it turns out good or if it turns out to be a disaster, but I will promise you all, or whoever reads this, that you will be the first to know about my day to day experiences.
Exciting I know!

So now I bid thee all farewell and hopefully I don't get kidnapped, or get a tape worm... or even worse.. diahrea(spelling?).
I cannot even imagine a worse plane ride home than a plane ride with me going to the bathroom every half hour. They should just have seatbelts on the toilet for people who practically spend their whole plane ride on them anyways.
I think that is my biggest fear.. so pray that I don't get it.

Wanted

2008-12-19T00:51:00.003-07:00

As many of you know from my previous post, I got a job as a dancing frog holding a sign( I call him Mr. Happy. Or in my case, Ms. Happy). I am also pretty sure at least one of you has seen this frog dancing. That is me in the picture in the costume by the way. A police officer took that picture actually...
That leads to my very funny experience that happened that day. You might not think it is funny, but I find it hilarious.

So I was standing on that corner minding my own business holding my sign and making people smile as usual. I thought I was okay to be there. In fact, I thought it was perfectly fine seeing as my boss took me there to stand and the fact that I was on a sidewalk. A public sidewalk.
Well apparently, it wasn't okay to be there. Not according to South Towne mall security. While in the middle of one of my many choreographed dances I made up, I was very rudely interrupted by a very large, young security guard who rudely told me to leave or else... *gasp* He would arrest me. haha. Wow.
I, of course, being in a big frog suit knowing he could not see my face told him just as rudely back that I was, in fact, allowed to be there. I even had a letter that proved it to him. He did not believe me, my boss, the city of sandy, or the constitution that I was permitted to stand there as my right. Of course, mall security guards are ALWAYS right... so he threatened me again. I was just waiting for him to pull out his hand cuffs and arrest me right there.
Of course, I don't think the cuffs would fit on my huge frog wrists. I told him that.
He was mad.
But then he left, so I went right on back to business. A few minutes later, he came out AGAIN, and interrupted me AGAIN! (Oh the nerve. Who would want to mess with a huge frog? He obviously didn't know who he was dealing with. Probably because he couldn't see my flaming red hair which always is accompanied with a flaming hot temper.) Anyways, this time I got mad at him for interrupting me, and he AGAIN threatened me with an arrest. I was not scared. I just called my boss, who called the police. Then the security guard left. He was scared I think.
I AM pretty intimidating.
After a few minutes, two police officers came to me. I told him what had happened and they started laughing. They thought it was the funniest thing that had ever happened. I think it might have been my giant smiling head with an angry voice that got to them. They were nice police officers and even took my picture for me. They even offered to chase me around the intersection to gain publicity. I was going to let them do that, but I didn't really want to humiliate myself even more by getting hit by a car because I couldn't see where I was going. I literally have a 2 inch square box I can peep through. I strain my neck trying to look through it and I have to position my head in this awkward, neck straining position.
Anyways, I digress.
My boss then called the the mall to speak to the security guard and to tell him to leave me alone, but the silly guy was too afraid to talk to him.
I don't like him at all.
I hope he has nightmares about a giant frog who beats him with a sign.

My new favorite thing

2008-12-14T14:48:00.002-07:00

I don't know about any of you, but I have always had a problem with finding new music.I know a couple of you who have asked me for some new music as well, and I never know what to recommend. Being on a radio station people just expect you to know every single band and song out there. I am actually very flattered when people ask me for new music because they trust I have good taste.. which I do. I take a lot of pride in the music I possess.

I owe a lot of my success to a certain website. I decided to let you all know my little secret to life and good music so since it is the holidays, consider it your christmas present.
The website is www.pandora.com.
I will now explain how it works. Pandora radio is a website where you get a FREE account and you play your own music. You type in an artist in the search box and then instantly it comes up with other artists that are similar. It also tells you why it picked those songs based on rhythm and instruments used. It is a very awesome website and most of the songs and new artists I LOVE.
There is also a different website. Apparently it is the cool man's Pandora, but I find it more complicated and I just think I will stick to simplicity.
For those who want the bigger challenge though, the website is
www.lastfm.com
I hope I have helped you with your journey to new music and good luck with your endeavors!!

Life Goals

2008-12-13T12:34:00.002-07:00

I had one of my life goals fulfilled yesterday. I do not think I have ever been so proud of myself in my entire life. I got a job.
Not just any job.
But the best job in the ENTIRE world!

I am a dancing frog holding a sign in front of the Diet Sport on 10600 S. and about 1300 W. I will only do it for a week which is how long I wanted to do it anyway. I am sooo excited. Nobody even understands the extent of how much I have wanted to be one of those. I could probably die and be happy by the end of next week.

I think the best part of it all, is that my head is covered and so nobody knows it is me so I can make a COMPLETE fool of myself and let myself go dance and jump around.

Yeah, sure, there are downfalls to it, like the fact that the head weighs a million pounds, or the fact that it is probably going to be zero degrees and I will be freezing my little frog toes off, but the negatives do not even equal the positives.

I think the thing I am most proud of is that I actually am fulfilling one of my life goals.
Who knew that goals were even possible to fulfill? I thought they were just there to look at and never reach, but now I know why people set goals.

But I have reached a dilemna. Now that my life goal has been fulfilled, what should my next life goal be?? Any ideas?

Horoscopes

2008-12-11T23:18:00.002-07:00

Okay, I have a confession to confess to everyone who reads this. I admit I read my horoscope about everyday on my yahoo account. And normally I just read them for the fun of it and normally don't believe in them... but today was just a funny little coincedence that I really loved because every sentence was true about today! I will share with you my horoscope.

Gemini:
Some totally flirtatious energy is blowing into your life like a thunderstorm today. All this flirting will light a fire under you that no social situation can contain! No one will be able to resist your cute remarks and your sassy one-liners, even though a couple of the more sober people you encounter will come close. But all in all, this is going to be a very fun day -- everyone loves to be complimented, and few people are as good at giving out compliments as you are.

Well it was actually a pretty fun, laid back day today. I spent the majority of it with Kevin and we spent it at the library laughing and joking. Later on the day, me and my roommates went to Wal-mart and got some hair dye because my roommates were dying their hair. After that, we watched Juno. During Juno, my friend Ben, from the radio station, called me and asked if I wanted to go to his house to have dinner and hang out with his friends. I said yes and headed on over there. We didn't really do anything other than watch some lame youtube videos with jazz music because he and his friends are really into it.
He had been drinking earlier that night and wasn't sober, but he wasn't drunk either, so it was funny to have conversations with him because he didn't hold back anything he was thinking. For example, when we were walking home, he was saying all these funny things to me like that I am really very cute and he has always thought that about me and he isn't sure that we can be friends because his values are so much more different. But he did compliment me which was nice.
When I got home from his house, my roommates boyfriend was over at my apartment and he gave me the best compliment I have ever received. It made my entire day. It was funny because he was like, " Cheryl, I am not trying to hit on you or anything, but you have really pretty eyes."
Isn't that like so nice? I needed that today especially, so that made me extra happy.
He definetly deserves a gold star or something. I just love people like that!!

My funny bone

2008-12-11T00:01:00.002-07:00

I don't know what it is about this comic that made me laugh out loud, but I was seriously laughing for a long time. I can't even tell you about the joy it gives me to read the comics...
Please don't feel obligated to laugh at this because I am sure its not as funny to anyone else. I just have the weirdest sense of humor. I don't even know if you could call it a sense.

Lame sauce

2008-12-07T02:46:00.002-07:00

Well if any of you care which most likely you probably don't, I never went on that date with Scotty. I would have been okay with that (well, I would have gotten over it) if I wouldn't have went over to Kevin's and walked in on him and some other girl holding hands. Now that's a straight blow to the heart right there everyone. Anyone who has experienced that would know exactly how I am feeling right now.
But whatever, he leaves in two days anyways.
Good Riddance!

Exactly like Merrit

2008-12-06T14:34:00.002-07:00

So I am sitting here on a Saturday afternoon with nothing to do. Everyone is gone because they all went to the Snow bowl game and I am a loser and couldn't find a ride to it. Hopefully we are winning! Well you might have noticed my title called exactly like merrit and you might be thinking, why is Cheryl exactly like merrit? Cheryl and Merrit are polar opposites. Merrit is smart, dedicated, and it going somewhere in her life. Cheryl is lazy, has no motivation, and is going nowhere. Well the reason we are alike is that we do very lame forwards on our blogs because we are bored. I mostly just want to copy Merrit in everything she does. So here it is!!
Go to iTunes (or the music player of your choice) and shuffle your entire library. Answer each question with the next song that comes up. No cheating! (aka- skipping songs or writing one on purpose) It’s funnier just to see what pops up.

Here are my answers:

How does the world see me?
Song: Only fooling myself
Artist: Kate Voegele
Comments: "One day i'll turn around, I'm only fooling myself" sounds pretty good.

Will I have a happy life?
Song: No good
Artist: Kate Voegele
Comments: oh, this is no good.

What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Savin' me
Artist: Nickelback
Comments: Thats right. I save them

Do people secretly lust after me?

Song: Far away
Artist: Nickelback
Comments: From a distance. just the way I like it

What should I do with my life?
Song: The war
Artist: Angels and Airwaves
Comments: Well folks, looks like I'm off to Iraq. See you later... maybe.

How can I make myself happy?
Song: Home
Artist: Chris Daughtry
Comments: I wholeheartedly agree

Why should life be full of so much pain?
Song: You and I
Artist: Michael Buble
Comments: haha. wow. Apparently you and I aren't meant to be

Will I ever have children?
Song: Womanizer
Artist: Brittney Spears
Comments: No way. I'm a womanizer for life

Will I die happy?
Song: Top of the world
Artist: Kate Voegele
Comments: At least I will die on top of the world

What is some good advice for me?
Song: something more
Artist: Aly and Aj
Comments: That is pretty good advice. Never settle for less cuz there is always something more

What is happiness?
Song: I ain't gunna tell you
Artist: Ne-yo
Comments: Now thats not very nice

What is my favorite fetish?
Song: True love's kiss
Artist: Enchanted soundtrack
Comments: Isn't that everyones favorite fetish? I cant wait for my true love's kiss!

How will I be remembered?
Song: as lovers go
Artist: Dashboard Confessional
Comments: I will have a lot of lovers I guess... don't blame me.. im a womanizer

Well that was fun!
I just want to let everyone know also that I have a major crush on a boy named Scott. He is the definition of hot and
AH! he is just perfect. Except he is not staying for next semester. He is going backpacking for two months in South America. I am so jealous. We knew each other through Kevin and he lived in Monticello with him. We have hung out every day this week which makes me very happy and you should all be proud of me because I asked him to go with me to the moutains tonight with my roommate and some other people to have a fire. I am proud for asking someone on a date!! But most likely after this next week, I will not see him ever again. It makes me sad, but I did have a good time looking at him. Anyways, just thought I would let ya all know, this was my first major crush on a boy this year. It is a very memorable moment.

Flight of the Conchords

2008-12-02T00:26:00.002-07:00

Flight of the conchords is the BEST show I have EVER seen. My words do not even do it justice. It is a MUST SEE. Like if you don't watch it, I will find you and make you watch it. I will give you a brief synopsis.
Basically, Flight of the Conchords follows the trials and tribulations of a two man, digi-folk band from New Zealand as they try to make a name for themselves in their adopted home of New York City. The band is made up of Bret McKenzie (long curly hair with beard) on guitar and vocals, and Jemaine Clement ( big rimmed glasses and large lips. He is my favorite)on guitar and vocals.

Bret and Jemaine have moved to New York in the hope of forging a successful music career. So far they've managed to find a manager (whose "other" job is at the New Zealand Consulate), one fan (a married obsessive) and one friend (who owns the local pawn shop) -- but not much else. I know it sounds dumb, but I promise if you just give it a chance, you will not be disappointed. You will most likely be overjoyed and shower me with gifts because I showed you the greatest show on the face of the planet.

Here are just a couple of quotes from the show:

"They're turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers But what's the real cost? Cause the sneakers don't seem that much cheaper. Why are we still paying so much for sneakers when you got them made by little slave kids?
What's your overhead?"

"And all the money that we're makin' is goin' to the man....What man, who's a man, what makes a man a man, am I a man...yes, technically I am."
"at these mermaid parties, do you smoke seaweed? if so, then how do you light it?"
"You know when I'm down to just my socks, it's time for business, that's why they call them business socks"

"No, you didn't kill me with your dragon flames, but you did leave me very badly disfigured"

Birthday HAt

2008-11-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

Everyone, please don't judge me about this video. I was 13 and was so annoying and was a complete spazz with the UGLIEST laugh.

Crawling in my skin

2008-11-21T01:54:00.002-07:00

Things here are getting pretty crazy and out of control.
Three of my friends got arrested last night for drinking.
My other friend got taken to the hospital tonight for overdosing on something and is now at the hospital right now and I have no idea how he is doing.
I just have this horrible feeling right now. And I just feel so bad for people who depend on drugs and alcohol.
I am just glad because yesterday I was going to go with them to drink and be their designated driver and its a good thing I wasn't. I am so grateful for the holy ghost.

People are dumb.

Hello Dolly

2008-11-19T01:44:00.002-07:00

My dad will be very proud of me after he reads this blog...

I went to an hour and a half concert of a big band jazz group!!

Anyways, I thought I would let ya'll know.
I really hate jazz music though still. I had to go for my music class and write a report about it. You can pretty much guarantee all of it was negative. Here was my thesis statement:
For someone who loves music as much as I do, it shows that jazz music really sucks because I can pretty much find good in every type of music.. except jazz. I know the musicians were good at the instruments they were playing, but it still gave me a headache and put me in a very foul mood. I think the only thing part about it was the fact that it wasn't smooth jazz. nothing is worse than smooth jazz and the saxophone breaking your eardrums with its annoying, clangy, (is that even a word?) tone.

Anyways, hopefully I didn't offend any of you about my rampage on the worst music ever invented. I want to hear your opinions though. Am I the only person who absolutely cannot stand jazz or are there others out there like me?
Please don't tell me I am alone on this one.

Wal-mart and motorized scooters

2008-11-11T16:25:00.002-07:00

This is just a way funny story that I want to tell you all about the adventures I have at Wal-mart. I would have had a picture to post but I forgot my phone at home, so you guys can just imagine..
So me and Brittney and Kevin went to Wal-mart today and I got in the shopping cart and they were pushing me around and piling food on top of me and this old guy that worked there complimented me for being the "cutest" baby! I was very proud and content in my shopping cart. Then a little while after that and after about a million people commented on it, I heard this very very loud siren sound. I then look behind me, and there is an old worker on an electric motorized scooter going way slow and he was like way mad and made me get out of the cart! But I think getting pulled over was totally worth seeing the old man chasing us down.

How to save a life

2008-11-10T23:11:00.002-07:00

So I got to thinking today about people and different things and it makes me sad how people get so attached to drinking and drugs and how their bodies need it to function. A lot of the people here that I hang out with drink and do drugs, mostly ecstacy and prescription pills. I have never really been exposed to that type of thing before. I admit I am a little naive when it comes to that type of thing but now that I have been exposed, I am kind of glad that I have been so innocent.
Tonight was just a weird night. I went to one of my friends houses and everyone there was high or drunk. It was just a sad thing to witness. It doesnt look appealing to me AT ALL. It was also sad because everyone (not including me) drove somewhere ( I dont know where), but the guy who was driving was totally high and it was just sad because I just don't know why someone would put themselves and everyone else in the car in danger because of that. It just makes me sad.
I know people who do something whether drinking or drugs, every single day. It really makes me sad. I care about these people and they are my friends and they are so miserable unless they are high or drunk.
I look at these people and am so grateful that I can say no and that I can live my life without drugs and alcohol.

For Blue Blue Skies

2008-11-07T15:45:00.003-07:00

So This is my new haircut! You cant really see it in this picture but it is much much better in person.

So I had the most embarrassing moment of my life today. Just about thirty minutes ago actually.
If you all didn't know, I am taking private voice lessons and in order to get the one credit, you have to perform a song you have been working on. So my teacher had me sign up to do a performance at the old folks home. I thought, yeah, maybe I can do this.
I couldnt have been more wrong.
I have a serious phobia with singing in front of people. I mean, it really is a phobia. I am not just nervous, I honestly cannot do it.
Anyways, so I get up there, the old people in the front, and all the voice major people in the back and everyones eyes are on me.
So I started singing but not really. I was shaking so bad and my voice sounded so bad. I forgot my words and then out of nowhere, I started bawling my eyes out. I could not stop crying, so I just stopped right in the middle of the second verse and everyone just sat there. No clapping or anything.
Right after that whole thing was very awkward because I had to play the piano for Brittney while she sang and I cried the whole time I was playing and then right after her song, I got off the piano and booked it on out of there.
I have seriously never made a bigger fool out of myself in my life. I cannot even stop crying.

I have vowed I am never going to sing in front of anyone again.

This is halloween, everybody make a scene

2008-11-05T11:59:00.002-07:00

Halloween is my all time favorite holiday.... next to Thanksgiving...
This halloween did not let me down.
I do have to say though It was very interesting.
Me and my roommates were Spice Girls! They forced me into this itty bitty corset and mini skirt.
Although I do have to say, I thorougly enjoyed my hot pink fish net tights.
So we went to the stomp that was supposedly supposed to be all night... it only lasted till one in the morning.
After that, I came home and put my very much needed pajamas on and made banana pancakes with nicole and my roommate brittney. Then at three in the morning Richie came over and we watched hercules. I seem to be getting in the habit of going to bed at wee hours in the morning which is not good for me.

Sorry I haven't really been writing.. the reason for that is that nothing cool goes on in my life. ever.

You might be proud of this though, I did back to back aerobics classes this morning. two whole hours of heart pumping and sweating!
oh yeah..
I cut my hair too.
Its the same length actually with ultra short layers and I dont care what anyone thinks, I love it!

Miserable at best

2008-10-30T08:10:00.002-06:00

After what has happened to me, I have vowed NEVER to ever drink an energy drink EVER again.
And I recommend to anyone who hasn't had one, to never have one.

Now let me tell you a little story of my life.

Last night, I had two energy drinks. They tasted really good, and to tell you the truth, I didn't think they worked. I thought it was all in your mind and that you acted crazy because your mind was telling you that you had to. I do not believe that at all anymore.
I stayed up all night last night. It was the worst night of my life. I have the worst jitters and I feel it going through my veins. I can run a million miles I swear and I can't stop cleaning and shaking.
It seriously is the worst feeling of my life and I am really anxious. I had one hour of sleep and I had a nightmare, so I didn't go back to bed. I cleaned my room, the kitchen, my bathroom, and the living room.

I can't even imagine having alcohol in my body if this is the way I feel with an energy drink.

My advice for life: NEVER DRINK ENERGY DRINKS...or alcohol.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

2008-10-22T09:55:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was a good day ... even though I didn't go to any classes.. oops. I seem to do that alot.

Yesterday should also go down in history. Me and Richie did open mic night. It is where you go and play any instrument and sing or whatever for whoever goes. Its just a chill thing that anyone can do. Normally I just play the piano while richie sings, but this time, I played my own song and sang!
It was the first time I have EVER sang in my entire life. It sucked, but I did it. I was so embarrassed though because the boy I have a secret crush on was there. AHH! Just thinking about it, makes me blush and embarrassed. So now I am avoiding him and maybe if I don't talk to him, he won't bring it up and hopefully will just forget it.

Yesterday was also the first time I have ever seen Hercules. I just love that movie, but I am not gunna lie, it kind of scared me a little. Hades is a freaky guy.
Also, All of my friends I truly care about were all at my house last night and it just made me so happy to laugh and have a really good time. I haven't laughed so hard in my life and it was really needed. I realize now that those moments in life are what makes life worth living.
So maybe we should all take time to laugh once in awhile and stop taking life so serious because really, what is the point in living?
It is to be happy and love everything around you.
I really should have been born in the 1960's because I am sounding like a true hippie so I will stop before it just gets worse. I think my music teacher is getting to me. ( Last class period, she made us get on the floor and pretend we were sinking in the sand.. and then I started hyperventilating because I couldnt breath because the sand was choking me. )

Freshman

2008-10-20T02:04:00.003-06:00

So I am definetly a slacker on the "post a blog everyday" which is probably a good thing because I am sure people don't want me telling them all about "homework" I am doing and the way I waste my time. I honestly waste more time at college than I ever have in my whole life combined. And you don't want to know what I do when I waste it either. Ha.
Anyways, this past week was fall break so I was so effin happy that I got to go home. It didn't really go as smoothly or as good as I hoped, but it was still a relief to get out of this dumb stupid town and go home. My friends Richie and Amanda stayed with me friday and saturday night and that was pretty much a party. I do feel bad for not spending as much time with my parents.
confession: I did want to spend more time with my parents. I really really needed it and I didn't so I really regret that.
I went to studio 600 also which I haven't been to in AGES, so I was very very happy to do that.
hmm...I am trying to think of what else I did...
I got to see Brandi, Aaron, and Mallory which made my entire week one hundred billion times better too!!!
Anyways, here are some pics of me and brandi's adventure to the mall.

FINALLY!

2008-10-13T01:54:00.003-06:00

SO I figured out what was wrong with my computer.. but Im not going to tell you cuz I feel stupid. HA. Anyway, its been a very long time since I wrote on here. But a picture is worth a thousand words, so I will just post some pictures up instead since I dont really feel like writing.

Insane in the membrane

2008-10-01T00:14:00.002-06:00

I am on my grand journey of pulling my first all nighter because of doing homework. I am the WORST procrastinator at doing homework. I wait until AFTER the assignment is due and then I do it. Right now, I should be doing it, but I am not. I always find other things to do.... like clean my room, play my piano, and eat. Thats all I ever do in a never ending cycle. Someday that cycle might have homework added to it.. hopefully. but probably not.
I have done like three things for homework all day, and now I have to write a 3 page essay on Claude Debussy, who, P.S. I dont even care about.
And then, I save the worst for last.. Geography. I have to color a map of Europe and read 30 pages in my book. I know coloring doesn't sound bad, but believe me, it is the absolute worst. I think geography was the worst class ever invented. I don't even know how they wrote a whole book about mountainous ranges and large, raging rivers. It just doensn't make sense to me.
Anyways, I should probably be reading and writing about my stupid composer.
BUT.... here is some exciting news. So today, I was really in need of a break so me and Richie went to open mic night and listened to some awesome music. Open mic night is just a place where anyone can go and play their guitar or piano and sing for a bunch of people. After that, Richie and I were so pumped about it, we decided we are going to rehearse and do it next week and we will blow everyones socks off with our rendition of Come What May from Moulin Rouge. It will be the highlight of my week, and I'm sure everyone elses too. If anyone wants to come down to watch, feel free. It will definetly be worth it.

brrr

2008-09-29T23:26:00.002-06:00

So I am bored and don't really feel like writing about my weekend, so I am just going to do this and copy cat everyone else on this planet.

1. Where is your cell phone? table
2. Your significant other? blah
3. Your hair? straight
4. Your mother? Nice
5. Your father? Jokester
6. Your favorite thing? meditation
7. Your dream last night? awesome
8 Your favorite drink? juice
9. Your dream/goal? failed
10. The room you’re in? room
11. Your hobby? dishes
12. Your fear? satan :S
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? college
14. What you’re not? self disciplined
15. Muffins? cartoon
16. One of your wish list items? money
17. Where you grew up? S-jizzle
18. The last thing you did? text
19. What are you wearing? nothing!! AHHHH
20. Favorite gadget? phone
21. Your pets? FEEBEE
22. Your computer? retarded
23.Your mood? indescribable
24. Missing someone? mucho
25.Your car? non-existent
26. Something you’re not wearing? clothes...AHHHH
27. Favorite store? torrid :D
28. Like someone? Justin.. Jason :)
29. Your favorite color? purple
30. When is the last time you laughed? 11:41
31. Last time you cried? earlier

Lifeline

2008-09-24T01:08:00.002-06:00

Lately its been a crazy times. I feel like everyone is having these hard times and coming to me and I can do nothing about it. I feel so helpless for everyone. I just want to help someone, and that doesn't even work. Seriously today, four people came to me and was telling me stuff, and I felt so horrible because I couldn't help.
Anyways, other than that, things are going good. I get no sleep though and I really am so dying without my phone. The time I actually absolutely need my phone because everyone else needs me, is when I don't have one. I love helping people. I really think that is my calling in life, because there is nothing else that will make me feel fulfilled.
I am very excited about tomorrow. I get to help with the special olympics and ref all day. I miss my guys from work so much. I never knew it was possible to feel so much love for someone you have only known for three months.
Anyways, I should probably get to bed and you are probably drooling over your keypad because of boredom.

Swing life away

2008-09-22T09:57:00.002-06:00

This weekend FLEW by. I didn't even get a chance to write on here! I didn't even do anything. In the past two days though, I have gotten a grand total of 8 hours of sleep. Saturday night, Johnny, my neighbor, Chelsey and I stayed up until 4:30. Well actually they pulled an all nighter and I don't think I am capable of pulling an all nighter. I have never done it before and I've tried so many times. Anyways, we made the most AMAZING fort ever... We still have it up.
Anyways, so last night I was just really stupid and was hangin out in my fort with Nicole because everyone next door was watching a scary movie. I went over there after the movie at about 1:30 because Nicole wanted to go home but Janae was over there so she had to wait for her...Anyways..
So we watched Alvin and the Chipmunks and by the time that ended, it was three in the morning. So then I was thinking that I wouldnt be able to wake up for my aerobics class at 8:30 if I went to bed, so I decided to pull an all nighter. Me and my roomy Brittney stayed up until 5:30 and then she fell asleep while talking, so then I had nothing to do, so then I had to fall asleep.
I am very upset because I didn't go to aerobics and I really love that class.
oh..
and..
I am very upset because my phone is broken and the charger is retarded and so my phone won't charge so now today I have to go buy a new phone which I don't have the money for. Ugh

Thankful Thursday

2008-09-18T16:14:00.002-06:00

Today is Thursday and I am going to take Celestes idea and do five things I am grateful for this week. I had a lesson yesterday in institute about pride and how not being grateful is a form of pride, so I am trying to be better about being grateful.

1. Old shady trees ( Grandmother Willow)

2. Purified water

3. Late night phone calls

4. Cars

5. Homemade dinners

I have so many other things I am grateful for, but I only put the first five I thought of.

Boats and Birds

2008-09-17T10:22:00.003-06:00

I am feeling so good right now. I have never felt so good in my life. I probably could run a marathon right now. I woke up with a big smile on my face and then aerobics pumped like a million pounds of adrenaline in my veins and then I wrote Kevin a letter in his math book he left at my house. It was very inspiring and I wrote a couple of life lessons. I will write them on here which my awesome roommate inspired me because she generously gave me eggs and bacon!! Okay.. are you ready for this?

Lesson #1:
Thinking positively works!!! No matter what kind of day it is, if you think positively, the day will be good.

Lesson #2:
If you ever feel overwhelmed with life, school or anything, think of my life motto.
You can always retake a class, but you can never retake a party.
Always Always work hard, but NEVER NEVER forget to have fun!!!

Lesson #3:
When you go throughout each day, you need to live your day, not just endure it. You need to think," What more can I do to make this day memorable?"
And then, once you think of what you can do,
DO IT!

Lesson #4:
Whenever you are feeling down, wear the color red. It makes you feel powerful and under control, and when you FEEL powerful and under control, you ARE powerful and can take control of your life.

Anyways, those are a couple of life lessons. I was going to write more, but he came over and got the letter, so I couldn't. Anyways, I hope you all feel as inspired and as good as me right now!!!!!!!!

Never take friendship personal

2008-09-16T19:14:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was just an all around bad day. I went to my aerobics class and then while I was on the shuttle on the way back, my stomach was killing me. When I got home, I laid in my bed and then I puked. My roommate was sick on Sunday so I think thats where I got it from. After that, Kevin and Tasha came over and took care of me. Tasha cleaned my room which I was very embarrassed about and Kevin made me grilled cheese and tomato soup..that I didnt even eat. But its the thought that counts right? Anyways, so all day I just laid around and watched one tree hill. The thing that sucked the most about yesterday, was the fact that I had to go pick up trash on the side of the highway for my radio class. So every semester we do two service projects that are mandatory and yesterday just had to be one of them. Anyways, so it was blazing hot and I was about to throw up on the side of the road, but there were crickets jumping at me everywhere so I was too scared to lean down in fear of having one jump right into my mouth! Anyways, while I was out there though I found a nerf gun, a rake, a black widow, a snake, a million beer bottles and a box of stick on tattoos that was empty...
You just never know what your going to find on the side of the road.

Dancing through Sunday

2008-09-15T00:45:00.002-06:00

Today was such a great day. I didn't really get a lot of sleep since me and Brittney had to share Brooke's bed because our beds were commundeered.(spelling?) Anyways, so I woke up at like 12 and then I had a presidency meeting. I really don't know about this calling. I am no good with organization and paperwork like at all so hopefully god will make this weakness a strength by the time I am done. After church, the boys next door made us dinner. I am not even joking, it was the BEST dinner I have EVER had. We had this amazing chicken alfredo and caesar salad and then for dessert we had angel food cake. It was soooo good. After that, I went to Kevins apartment and just hung out with his roommates. Kevin like ditched me for these girls and so I was sitting there talking to his roommates and I am not gunna lie, it was pretty awkward. Anyways, that was my day in a nutshell. My life is pretty exciting let me tell ya...

Daughter of a king

2008-09-14T02:01:00.002-06:00

These past two days have been so spiritual for me. My mom sent me a book called the parable of the princesses and that book is the best book I probably have ever read. I am serious, if you ever invest in one book, it should be that book. It just hit me so hard. It came with a cd, and it is so amazing. Me and Nicole read it together and listened to the music together on my bed and we just were bawling our eyes out. I am sure it was a very pitiful sight, but it hit both of us so hard. I honestly know that god inspired my mom to give me that book. I also know that people are praying for me. I feel it and I am so grateful for it you have no idea. Its such a weird feeling. I feel like I am not carrying myself at all. It's god and its because of all the prayers of others and I just cant even tell you how much I feel it and how much I am grateful for it. I feel so selfish and undeserving of everything I have received.
Gosh, wow, I am so sorry for blah blah-ing to you about church things. I just feel so lucky right now to have experienced what I just did. I can't even thank my mom enough for that book. I love her so much and miss her. I never thought I would ever say that, but I am. Haha

Nothing is impossible

2008-09-13T02:11:00.002-06:00

I have finally made a connection today. I am soooo happy I did. I have learned that whatever happens in life, happens for a reason. We might not know what that reason is, but it happens because it is supposed to happen. I know that I have met and become friends with certain people for a reason. I know that although things might not always go my way, they have gone that way because they were meant to. (Pretty sure I have said the same thing like 5 times.) I am so happy to know that when I trust in god and do what he tells me to do, I will be led in the right direction whether its with school, my future, friends, boys, and everything else in between and know that I am in that situation for a reason.
Anyways, I guess I just had to share my epiphany because I don't really get those very often so I am so happy I realized that today!

Sweet perfection

2008-09-12T11:18:00.002-06:00

Last night was so very exciting. A lot more exciting than when I did math homework for five hours...
So the neighbor boys came over and were like lets make dry ice bombs, so we got all our bottles and crammed ten of us in a five passenger car.. don't ask how we did it. I don't even know how we did it. So we went out into the middle of nowhere and blew em' all up! I felt like such a hick you have no idea. This is what you have to do to entertain yourself when you live in a teeny tiny baby town. After that, we went on a Denny's run. Don't forget it is about 45 minutes away and with ten people in the car, it isn't very comfortable... at all. My back is broken so if any of you want to give me a massage, I wouldn't mind. Anyways, After Dennys, stupid Josh took us to the haunted cemetery.. again. I hate him so much right now. The difference with this week and last week was that I actually got out of the jeep. My mind must have been shut off or something, but that was probably the stupidest thing anyone could EVER do. So we were all walking around and I was holding hands with four of us girls, and then all of a sudden, everyone else runs away. I was so terrified. Funny thing though, out of us four girls, none of us had our phones. I could have died or been terribly hurt and no one would have known. Ugh. Anyways, Josh decides to leave us there and I was freakin out and so we started walking to the exit of the cemetery and then Josh flashed his brights on us and Jentze comes up behind us and scared the crap out of us. I am just so furious right now. They know how I am about being scared. I get freaked out.
We got home at 4 in the morning and me and Nicole shared my bed. It's very hard to share a twin bed.

Chop Chop

2008-09-11T00:47:00.001-06:00

I am not doing anything but studying now. No friends, no nothin.
Im done.

Float on

2008-09-09T22:09:00.002-06:00

Sorry I haven't written for two days... mostly because nothing happened really. It has been quite the boring days with nothing really much to say. I am a secret ninja though. Me and this girl went to these boys apartments and took every single pair of their clothes. I am such a good ninja you dont even know, so if anyone crosses me, I will kill them with my ninja moves. I have been hangin out with my roomys lately. I love them with all my heart. They are all so cute! On saturday, we are having a movie day where we bring our mattresses down with blankets and watch movies all day! It will be fun! Anyways, I don't really have that much to say anymore and I suck with words. I wish I was like Merrit and was professional, but oh well. We all have our different talents.

Time to Myself

2008-09-07T02:40:00.002-06:00

Today was the best day ever. I didn't get dressed. I stayed in my pajamas ALL DAY and I loved every second of it. My day consisted of spending about 8 bucks doing laundry and having the stupid machine eat my quarters. I also watched House. I don't even like that show, but my roommates were watching it, and so I watched it with them. I also wasted two hours of my day getting my trash kicked in monopoly. Then finally at like eleven, Richie came and picked me up and we watched P.S. I love you. I liked it, but it made me teary eyed. I hope no one saw, but I am pretty sure they all saw.
I always write these blogs that make no sense and I forget a lot of things too. I wish I could just put my brain into the computer and then have the computer write my thoughts. That would be much much easier.

Bend and not Break

2008-09-06T02:50:00.002-06:00

Fact #1: I went on a date for the first time in like a year with Kevin.
Fact #2: I really really like homemade oreos.
Fact #3: I am always second choice.
Fact #4: I need more friends.
Fact #5: I love my roommates.
Fact #6: I am pretty positive I have a japanese voodoo spell on me.
Fact #7: I need to do laundry really really bad.
Fact #8: I really really love music.

The end

2008-09-06T02:45:00.000-06:00

Many the miles

2008-09-05T03:21:00.002-06:00

Today was a craazyyyy day!! Actually from about seven oclock on only. So me and my roommates had this little Bee bee cue for the apartment complex and then after that we put the mattresses on the stairs and slid down them. We got some pretty sweet video footage that I wish I could post on here. We did that for like hours and then after, our hot neighbor boys invited us to go on a dennys run in salina forty five minutes away. So there was 5 of us girls and then 3 boys next door crammed in Josh's (neighbor) car. So we went to Dennys, and then after got really really crazy. So Josh was like you guys want to go to a haunted cemetary? and I was like freaking out because one, I am a total chicken and can't stand haunted things. and two, we were in the middle of nowhere where apparently some indian guy got hung. So I'm like freaking out on the way there and when we get there, all the guys got out and my roommate brittany. So now there's the four of us in the car and I was so scared so I just was like we should pray. So I said this really lame prayer for all of us to be safe and then right after that, everyone came running back to the car like freaking out and by this point I had called my house. I was so scared I was holding in my tears and it was like one in the morning... Sorry about that mom and dad :S
Anyways, so they get in the car and we are like driving out of there as fast as possible and I'm like freaking out cuz they were like we were trying to scare you and then all of a sudden two indian guys came out of nowhere! So then I was all freaking out and then like five minutes later, they were like, just kidding. I was pissed and then I made us all listen to hymns.
When we got home it was like two, and we all decide to watch a movie. So right now as I type this at 3:30 in the morning, everyone is downstairs watching tommy boy.
Anyways, that was my crazy night. Hopefully this made sense. I kinda am delirious

Reclusion in places

2008-09-03T23:58:00.002-06:00

Today was just so full of high and lows. Earlier on in the day was just boring. I slept on the grass by the fountain for seriously like two hours and got a major farmers sunburn. I went to my institute class at seven tonight and felt like an idiot for some reason. Mostly cuz everyone had brought their friends and I was all alone and my teacher kept calling on me, and I was just always like... I dont know.. I looked stupid. After that, me and roommates had some big dinner planned that we invited boys to. Of course they didn't warn me, so all these hot guys showed up at my apartment and I looked like a freak. There was like 15 HOT guys... all of them. no joke. and then 5 of us girls. It was fun. One of the guys challenged everyone to swallow one tablespoon of cinnamon for 100 bucks in under a minute. Of course it's impossible.... NOT. One girl actually did it!! Now he really has to pay her. I am kicking myself that I didn't do it. He was hot too. I totally could have won a date with him if I did it I bet.
Anyways, that was my day today. I am just happy I finally met boys! I was beginning to think none existed here at school.

There's a world out there and it's waiting for you

2008-09-03T10:50:00.001-06:00

Take me away to january
I'm done with this year
Im tired of everyone here
I just need some time alone
Before I'm ready to come back home

There's gotta be something else out there for me,
I can feel it in my heart the day I started to dream.

There's more than this midwestern town
I can't let this place keep me down

So I tell myself...
There's a girl out on the coast of california,
there's a world out there and
it's waiting for you
and I can hear them calling my name
tonight...

Take me away
I need the sand and the waves,
the sunset, and lets not forget those warm autum days.

I just need to get out of here...
and vist the coast just to see her.

There's gotta be something else out there for me,
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream.

there's more than this midwestern town.

I can't let this place keep me down.

So I tell myself...
There's a girl out on the coast of california
there's a world out there and it's waiting for you.

and I can hear it calling my name
tonight...

Well there's a girl out on the coast of california
there's a world out there and it's waiting for you,
and I can hear it calling my name
tonight...

Take me away to january,
I'm done with this year.

I'm tierd of everyone here.

I just need sometime alone
before I'm ready to come back home...

i just wanna get outta here and run away from everything in my life.

listen to music and sit around all day
doing nothing
and loving it.

i cant be here anymore
seriously.

Between the lines

2008-09-02T23:19:00.002-06:00

Sorry I haven't written forever! Well only like three days, but thats a long time. Anyways, so I went home this weekend and I loved it! I think though that I am more home sick now than I ever was before. I really really do not want to be here. I know its all in my attitude but I just cant seem to feel confident in anything I do. I just want to be home now and just sit down and think about what I really want. I feel like I've jumped into something I am not ready for or even know if I want. I dont even know what I want.
Anyways, sorry I always complain but like I said before, this is like my journal so you all can know my thoughts. I am not going to hide how I really feel so dont try and change that. I just want a blessing. I want my dad. I need someone I can trust.
On a lighter note, I got called as the relief society secretary. Go me! All I have to do I think is pass around the role, so that will be a piece of cake!

Wake up, open the door and escape to the sea

2008-08-28T21:25:00.003-06:00

Today was dragging on and on and on and on. I could go on, but that would be boring. I honestly didn't do like anything ever. But I do have an exciting story. I hope I can explain to you in a way that is comprehensible. So today when I was in my music introduction class, my teacher pointed to me right in the middle of the class and was like.. I need to talk to you after class. I was like... oh man.
I'm screwed. But when I walked up to her after class, she was like, I have a proposal and I was like... okay... your weird. But i didnt say that. So then she was all, I am desperate for a ladies choir pianist, and I was like... uh.. so what do you want me to do about it? And she was like I want you to play in exchange for FREE private voice lessons worth 300 bucks. I was kind of hesitant to do that because number one, I can't sing, and number two, the girls in the choir are weird... No offense, but they really are... OH! and my institute class was the same time as the choir class. I did decide to take her offer and change my institute class to wednesday nights at seven though. I think it might be okay if I can play the songs... which it doesnt look like I can, but oh well. I will pretend. I will pretend I can sing too. When I learn how, I will teach you all.. in exchange for 300 bucks.

These are some pretty poppin pics of me that Richie took and I wanna show you all how rad I can be.

The quiet things no one ever knows

2008-08-27T22:21:00.002-06:00

Today was a pretty good day. Boring though. I have the most boring life I decided. All I ever do is hang out with Kevin and play ping pong. But if I want to become the next gold medalist in table tennis, I have to play it alot. So today I had aerobics. I love that class with all of my heart. I love how Kevin (AKA the goat...ask melanie) is in it with me and I just love working out. I thought I would never say this, but now I understand why people work out. I used to think something was wrong with peoples brains like my mom and melanie, but now I am morphing into that same thing. Anyways, so after that, I had my geography class. My professor is so boring. Please just gauge my eyes out right now... or his.
After that, can ya guess what I did?
Your right!! I played with Kevin (goat)! We played ping pong for an hour and then went back to my apartment and watched bewitched. After that, I went over to the institute and had a free dinner. I cant believe how many free dinners are down here and I just love it. Tomorrow there is free smoothies. Im gunna get about 10. I miss Jamba Juice so much. I am going there when I come down this weekend.
P.S. I am bringing Kevin (goat) down too so ya'll can meet him!
So yeah, I'm pretty much stoked to come down this weekend and can't wait to see you all!!!!

This is not what you had planned

2008-08-26T23:07:00.003-06:00

Today was pretty good. I had another cry fest with Nicole last night. I am so glad I have the life I have and not someone elses. I wouldnt be able to handle anyone elses life thats for sure.
So today I woke up at 9:15 and my class was at 9:30 so I just didnt end up going. What a great way to start off my classes. I am very upset about it. But it was only my music introduction class, so Im not worrying too much about it.
So then I had my institute class at 11:30 and I love it! I met the most hick boy but he was funny though. I am so happy I am taking miracle of forgiveness as my class. I have learned so much already. After that, I went over to the dorms and hung out with Nicole and then went to my math class. I am so ahead in that class I just am not going to go to it tomorrow. I already have three assignments done. After that, I went back to dorms and hung out with Richie and Morgan. Mostly it was boring though. I was very happy when I got a call from Celeste. I love when people call me! I love her so much! I look up to her a lot she has like no idea.
Then me and Janae and Jordan (my cousin) went to my house. We had a party! We watched Phantom of the Opera and High school musical and Jordan is the one who picked both of them out!! I guess every guy has their soft side whether they show it or not.
Today wasnt very exciting so I dont even know why I wrote such a long post. I forgot my journal from home so this basically is my journal so just bear with me until I go home to get it.

The sun and the moon

2008-08-26T00:04:00.002-06:00

Oh how I wish I was home right now. I miss everyone so much. I honestly don't know what I'm even doing here. I have no talents whatsoever. I have no idea what Im supposed to be doing here. I hate not knowing the future. I hate looking around at everyone else and seeing that they know what they are doing. They know what they can become. My problem is that I dont see that. I don't see myself becoming anything.
Anyways, I dont know what it has been the past two days, but I'm struggling pretty rough right now. I guess I just have to keep truckin

Reckless Abandon

2008-08-25T00:29:00.002-06:00

Today was a very weird day. I was kinda down all day thinkin about church and me and just everything. I actually had a huge break down and my roommate brittany came in and talked to me for like an hour. i loved it. I really needed that. I was just about to call home but then she came in. I was on the floor with tears streaming down my face. It was embarrassing, but I love her so much.
I realize now that people come into your life for a reason and if we just listen to the spirit we can help others when they need it the most. That was my lesson for the day.
I really do love and miss you all sooo much! I want my daddy :(

Baby love

2008-08-24T03:03:00.003-06:00

Last night was awesome!! Well.. let me tell you why.
So me and Richie watched a movie called across the universe. I fell asleep like twenty minutes into it, but it looked good from what I saw. Well so then apparently he fell asleep too and we woke up at 4:30 in the morning. It was crazy. I was just happy I could spend time with him! haha. Wow I am so very pathetic.
Today though was very boring on the other hand. I wake up so early every day cuz of the sun shining directly on my face. I hate it, so I named it the light kingdom. I hate light. I want to become a vampire.
So I mostly sat around all day and then Kevin came over and we chilled like all day. Then finally at like eleven at night, Kev, me, Kelvin, Cory, Janae and Nicole went this one guys apartment and had navajo tacos. We watched the olympic ping pong games and then finally at 12:30, the USA and Spain gold medal basketball teams played! Go USA! We even went to Wal-mart and got little USA flags to flap around when they scored. It was very exciting!
Me and Kevin also found the cutest little kitty cat kitten and we fed it licorice and we held it. It was so cuddly and it definetly made my entire day, but it made me miss feebee so much. I honestly am so very lonely without her. Sometimes I cry cuz I miss her so much. That is so lame I know, but I love her more than anything.
Well I should probably go to bed now because its 3:35 in the morning. Good thing I have 1:30 church... well actually it won't matter cuz I will be waking up at 10 in the morning cuz of the sun anyways.
I am definetly getting dark curtains thats for sure.

Burnin up for you babay!

2008-08-22T22:01:00.001-06:00

Today was way borrrrring. I woke up at 10:30 and then went to my geography class. After that class, me and kevin and richie went to go buy me and kevins music book. frikkkin 85 bucks for each of us and we split it!!! I hate books and money and gay things.
After that, I went to my math class and then like waited for like twenty minutes for Richie to get outta his class... then I went over to the dorms and was horribly bored. I was in Richies room for like a million hours watching him do stuff on the computer.
We freakin did his laundry in the creepy basement. They had like cages on both sides of the wall and it reminded me of the set of saw. It was scary.
Yesterday was quite the adventure. I will tell you the short version of the day. Lets just say I went on a rampage when I found an exploded beer bottle in my freezer. ...
yeah, I am pretty pissed about it.
But pretty much that was my two days in a very condensed version. I love you all and miss you all!

Love like Rockets

2008-08-20T21:26:00.002-06:00

Today was my first day of actual school and it was crazy. I swear I walked about fifteen million miles. Im not exaggerating either. So first off, I woke up at 6:40 when I went to bed at 1:30. It was not fun at all! I have been so tired all day.. dragging my feet along with my eyes closed basically. So my first class was rap and hip hop history that I got out of because I wouldnt have been able to make the shuttle to aerobics. Blah, so now I am going to have aerobics at 8:30 in the morning. Oh well, I am with Kevin so its all good. After that class, Me and Kev went back to my apartment and sat around my apartment till my geography class. That class is going to be way way way way way hard I think. I am dreading it. I then walked and walked and walked again back to my apartment and talked to my roommate Brooke. She is way chill and cool. Then, the most dreaded of all the day.... Math... ugh. I hate it so bad. I really hope I dont fail it. After that, Kev, me and this girl Tasha from my math class went to buy books. My intro to music book is freakin 130 bucks and my math book was 100 but me and Tasha are just sharing so we split the cost. Then me and Kevin went to the library and he did some homework while I read my geography book. It was the first time Ive ever read a textbook. Who knew textbooks were to actually read? But I figured since it was so much money, might as well read it.
After that, I walked and walked and walked back to my apartment and waited till the free bbq! there is nothing better than free food, music, and TATOOS! Thats right.. I got a tat.
It is a chinese symbol of a crow so its like cheryl crow!! haha get it?
So that was my day today and I am exhausted and now I am sitting here on morgans laptop in the dorm. I just want to shut my little eyes and sleepy sleep!

A whisper and a clamor

2008-08-19T23:33:00.002-06:00

If you haven't noticed already, all my titles are names of songs. Its totally rad and they are totally rad songs. So today was totally cool kind of. First, I went to start smart which was totally lame but the last half of the day was bearable cuz I was sitting by Kevin and we just talked the whole time. After that, Kevin and I went back to my house and I made us some delicious cheese tortillas and salad and peaches! After that, I went over to the dorms and totally talked to Richy for like ever! yay! Then we all decided to go hot tubbing at my apartments and then we had a total dance party and ate cheese and crackers! I totally get the gold medal for dancing though! Here are some pics of Kelvin and Kevin, Richy, me and Kristen, and me and kevin!

Picture perfect Dennys!

2008-08-18T23:50:00.003-06:00

Happy times at Dennys!! It was such an adventure and was totally awesome!!!

So those are the pictures from Dennys! Totally loved it...
But today was my first day of "school"... it was just Start Smart for freshman. It was just another EFY all over again. We even had cheers and get to know you games too! Oh my.... the cheers..
I dont even want to repeat them cuz they were so gay. Anyways, so after all that cool stuff, I just hung out with Kevin, Kelvin, and Cory. They are my new best friends! I love them all to freakin death! We went to this improv comedy thingy. It was pretty funny, but not really, but I didnt care cuz it was free and I got free food too! After that was just a bunch of stuff goin on. Drama I really didnt want to get into.... I cant believe there is drama. We are in college now, seriously, cant we all just like get along and stop being boy obsessive? Thats all Im gunna say about that.

Moving on, so I still havent even met two of my roommates, even though they have both moved in. I feel like way bad but I am way busy though too. But thats pretty much what went on today.
I totally have a secret crush on a boy named Richy though. I love him. He is so freakin cool its not even funny. ...

Flying without wings

2008-08-17T23:01:00.003-06:00

Today was a good day. I woke up ultra early.. like nine.. to get ready for church at ten. It was like the last day of the summer singles ward so it was like the whole stake combined. It was totally crazy. So many people were there and the sacrament was dead silent. I sat by this really weird boy...but he sang really good and he was hot too so I was okay with it. After church, my roommate Kenzie was moving in. I flippin love her. She is so cute and so funny! My other roommate Amanda hasnt come out of her secret lair room ALL DAY. I went in there once and she was coloring her princess coloring book. I really think she is terrified of me. I was a little overbearing when I greeted her.
So after that, I just hung out with Kenzie for a bit and then Nicole and Larkin(I love that name!!) and Janae came over and then we went to Nicoles boy toy Kevin's apartment. He is totally awesome! He seriously is my new best friend and I am not even kidding. We are so twin-ish its scary. He is also in my aerobics class and he might be in my music intro class too! yay!
So pretty much all night we sat around talking and then I served them spaghetti and then we played apples to apples!
Nicole gave me the book the secret and now I am going to go read it! I MISS FEEBEE!!

Bitter for sweet

2008-08-17T00:12:00.002-06:00

Today was just a very slow day for me. I was bored OUTTA MY MIND! Well at least till about four o'clock. I have nothing here. I have no TV, no piano, no friends, and only so much food to eat. AW! I am so home sick. It didnt hit me until today while I was watching the Dark Knight at the drive-inn. (Bytheway, it sucked. I dont know what the big hype about it is. It made me seriously depressed and it kinda creeped me out a little. I didnt even have a jacket and was freezing and there were not any guys to warm me up.) Anyways, thats besides the point that I am freaking out because I miss everyone.

I have never felt so on my own and alone in my life. I mean, I have met many good awesome people but it just isnt the same without everyone. No one even knows how I feel unless you have moved out on your own without ANYONE. I just keep thinking this is just a little vacation and I will go home to everyone in a week. But now I have just realized that thats not going to happen.

Aw, I am so sorry for making this my cry baby blog, but there has to be at least one, right?

Life's a party!

2008-08-15T23:32:00.003-06:00

Yesterday and today have been like way crazy! I couldnt even wait to get my internet working so I could tell all of you wonderful people about it!

First off, I will start with yesterday. After I got up outta bed and showered and did all that fun stuff(like you all wanted to know), a new girl moved in! Her name is kenzie, and she has a twin, but her twin is staying in a different apartment though. Well she just moved her stuff in and is coming back sunday so I am still all alone in this place. :( So yesterday, Kenzie and her family and I went trapzing around the town... main street, and got free cotton candy! Apparently yesterday was the 140th birth year of Ephraim, so thats why there was free cotton candy! Anyways, so after that, I was just waiting for Jessica and Madisen(my supposed to be roommates that live two doors down), to come home. I was so bored but finally Madisen came over and told me why I'm not her roommate anymore.Hopefully I can say this so you understand it cuz its kind of confusing, but oh well. So apparently her new roommate was actually supposed to be in my apartment, but then she found out there was a japanese girl living here and then complained so she could get out of the apartment. I think that is totally ridiculous. I cant believe how stupid people can be.

Okay, so this is a really long blog, and I havent even gotten to today. Sorry. You dont have to read this.

Anyways, So after that, I just hung out at Madisen and Jessicas apartment. Here is the fun part. So, at like 9:30, Dan calls. He is from the man cave. Anyways, so he was like lets go to Dennys. Well the nearest Dennys is like 45 minutes away, so its like a freakin road trip. Anyways, so he comes and picks us up in his 5 passenger truck. There were eight of us in it. That was quite the experience. okay, so there was Me, Dan, Jessica, a different Jessica, Madisen, Brooke, Matt, and Gio. That was quite the ride. We got very comfortable fast.
It was so fun though and we took tons of pictures. I will put them up here when Maddy puts them on her facebook. So anyways, that was yesterday!

Okay, So for today, I woke up at twelve noon because Nicole Ruesch called me(she was from high school). Anyways, so Nicole came over and we walked around the campus and then went over to her dorm room and met some people there. They are all pretty awesome! Except her dorm is really really gross and hot and sweaty cuz it doesnt have AC, so I was dying like all day. I am so thankful for air conditioning you have no idea. Anyways, so that was my day pretty much today.
OH YEAH!! I forgot!!
I saw a little froggy today while I was walking on the sidewalk and it totally made my day!

I'M HERE... FINALLY!

2008-08-14T11:47:00.003-06:00

So I have finally arrived here at Snow College all in one piece! I didnt even cry.. only a little bit. So yesterday when I was checking in, they lady switched my room on me, so I wasnt roooming with the girls I thought I would be. But I am only two doors down, but still it sucks because they are way awesome. I have a japanese roommate I have never met yet. Her boyfriend is staying in the apartments too, so she is just staying with him. The house reeks of japanese food but maybe she will teach me how to cook and I can be the worlds best japanese food cook. I went into her room and she has a Bob Marley blanket covering part of her closet and Me and Kyle are positive she is growing Weed. Haha. Just kidding, but that would be funny. Hopefully she shows up sometime.

I met the girls, Jessica and Madison, and they are so awesome! I have a feeling we will be really good friends. They are taking me out to lunch today and then giving me a tour of the school. They are going to take me to the man cave sometime too. You might ask, what is the man cave? well its a house with seven guys living in it and they are known as like the hicks and are super manly men. Most likely guys with facial hair and hot wilderness bodies! yay!

Anyways, thats what is going on in a nutshell so far. I am so happy now that I have something to actually write about here on this blog! haha

Anyways, I am going to love it here I think. I am going to miss everyone back home. I might even miss my dad and his fake italian accent.

Its a New dawn, Its a new day, Its a new life for me.... and I'm feeling good

2008-08-13T14:21:00.003-06:00

College is here. Its today and I am so scared. I am also so excited. I talked to my roommates on the phone the other day and they seem way freakin awesome, so I am not very scared. I am so very sad to be moving away from a lot of people I care about. I just am so thankful to every person in my life who has stuck with me through everything (Especially my parents). I cant even believe they have put up with me. I have been such a little B word. haha. But I really have.
I hope my roommates can put up with me.
Anyways, I just want to thank everyone so far in my life for being such amazing people!!

2008-08-11T12:01:00.006-06:00

So let me tell you a story of how pathetic I am. So me and John Lee( pictured above) went to wheeler farm a couple weeks ago and we were walking around looking at all the animals and he was clapping and laughing and smiling because he LOVES animals. Well what you might not know about John Lee, is that he is deaf.
So we were looking at the little piggys and one of the piggys started sqweeling. I was so sad that he couldn't hear the pigs and I thought about how much more happy he would be if he could hear the pigs. At that point of my thinking, I just broke down and started crying. It was such a pathetic sight to see and many people were walking past wondering who we both were. Im sure they were asking themselves, Who is that crazy baby girl with the guy who talks and claps to himself?

Today is my last day at my job, and then I am really off to college. I will miss these guys so much! I will never forget what they have given me. I have learned so much about patience and love from them. I might not miss the crazy times we have at the house ( like plyers being chucked at my head) but I will miss these sweet guys and I will never forget them!

New Chapter

2008-08-09T00:06:00.002-06:00

Have you ever read a book for the first time and couldn't wait for the next chapter? Or maybe you dreaded the next chapter cuz you know it was going to be something bad but you couldn't seem to put the book down?

Right now, my life feels like a book. I am so looking forward to the future right now and I can't wait for this new chapter of my life to start. college..
But at the same time I am absolutely terrified. I cant seem to put my finger on it, but thinking about it really really makes me have serious anxiety issues.

I hate thinking that I will be living on my own in less than one week.
I hate no money.
I will digging scraps of food from what my roommates didnt eat out of the garbage can. It will be such a delight... not.
I really hope I get good roommates.
Andee and I already pre-nicknamed them. first, there will be Arial. She will be the anal retentive roommate everyone hates cuz she will be such a germaphobe. Then there will be spoons. She will be the girl with a different guy over every single night. Then theres the girl who never showers. Her nickname is GG. I will let you figure what that means. haha.
Well I dont really remember the other nicknames we had for them, but if you come up with any, feel free to let me know what they are so we can talk about them to each other without them even knowing. haha. Im so evil.
Anyways, Thats whats on my mind and I really couldnt shut up today

Pictures.. pictures... BLACKMAIL!

2008-08-06T11:20:00.006-06:00

I am feeling very in the mood to post old blackmail pictures of different people... mostly just mallory
bahahahahahahaha

That's What you get when you go to London without me sucka!

Life Changing.. read

2008-08-05T13:25:00.003-06:00

So I found a life changing song. It is one of the best songs I have heard. Ready to hear what it is yet?
Drum roll please.....
Boats and Birds (Demo Version) by Gregory and the Hawk
So now that you know what it is, you really need to look it up. I will put up the lyrics too....

If you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by

if you be my boat
I'll be your sea
a depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
I live to make you free

but you can set sail to the west if you want to
and past the horizon till I can't even see you
far from here where the beaches are wide
just leave me your wake to remember you by

if you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by
stardust to remember you by

They are amazing lyrics and its an amazing song.

Look it up now!

Booom. OWNAGE

2008-07-31T22:49:00.003-06:00

So Andee and I are sitting here texting like five people and all of them are saying weird things. I dont even want to tell you them because you would feel awkward reading them!
I hate the situation I am in right now.
Im not going to tell you it because it would make you feel awkward in your chair.

WE HATE LEE
HE IS A STALKER
WE WISH HE WOULD LEAVE US ALONE
RIGHT NOW!!

BUT WE LOVE YOU YAY!
We love everyone except Lee.

BOOM... OUTTA HERE

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe

2008-07-31T15:32:00.003-06:00

So this is my first blog! YAY!
Go me!
I personally don't understand the whole blogging thing, but I dont have the hang of it yet, so Im sure I will be addicted to it soon enough.
Most of the time, I dont even know what to say in a blog. You just have to be interesting, which I'm not whatsoever. Oh well, if you read my blogs, go you! You must be really bored. Am I right?
Of course I'm right.
I'm always right.

Wow, that blog was easier than I thought.
I should do this everyday.
I think I will.